Friend as a Verb. (Guest Article)

The Following is a guest article.  The author is a friend of mine, prominent in his field and would prefer not to, at this point, have his name publicly pasted to my blog.  I understand completely.  I sometimes wish my name weren’t on it either.  Read and enjoy. (Also, if you have a guest article you’d like to write, it matches our basic centrist kinda thing and or it’s funny, well written or thought-provoking. send it in and I will probably post it.  Let me know if you want your name on it.)

Friend as a Verb

I guess I’ve been on Facebook for about a year now, maybe more.  I originally got onboard to see how my former students are doing and what they’re up to these days.  I must admit my experience has been mostly positive in that I have not only found many former students, but also classmates from the numerous schools I have attended over the years-my dad was transferred several times in his career.  I am amused and sometimes amazed by some of the postings I read from my “friends” as I spend too much time perusing the site. 

My main issue or question is this: When am I able to “Unfriend” people because I’m tired of their political claptrap or business networking posts?  I’ve never looked at friend numbers on peoples’ pages as popularity statistics, but mainly as an indication of how long they’ve been on the site.  I don’t particularly care if you have 10 friends or 1500.  Oh, by the way, assume from this point forward that “friends” is intended in quotation marks…  I know several people who, when I see them in person seem to be reasonably well-adjusted folk.  They aren’t screaming “THE END IS NEAR” with a dog-eared bible in their hand or slapping raw meat on their head or mumbling to themselves about a recent alien abduction… but these same peoples’ status updates run the gamut from right-wing-nut-job to well-armed religious cult member to pornographic play-by-play analyst (analist? Analest? Whatever) 

When I agreed to be your friend, I was saying “Hey, how’s it been going?”  “Nice to hear from you again.” Not “What has the current federal/state/local government done today to fuck over your particular group of lunatics?  Or What signs have you noticed in the past 12 hours that made you question my faith or patriotism or choice of toothpaste?  Jeezuz People, get a grip! 

I’ve already been through the friend-unfriend-refriend thing with a few people on FB and I am seriously considering a large-scale purge (and not just because I had a bowl of Mac & Cheese with the cut-up hotdogs in it)…

Meet the new boss.

Here’s the new deal, so listen up.  1.  Don’t talk to me about my personal relationship with my Creator because it’s just that-PERSONAL and none of your Creator Forsaken business.  2.  If you are my friend, you already know that my career automatically puts a higher value on people than money.  I don’t give a flying shit about what you recommend where economics are concerned (unless you are in that field and I ask you about it,… in which case, let me have it)  3.  Since the current state and recent national moronic deeds from Texas politicians, don’t try to convince me that I EVER need to support a republican for anything that requires more thought than bagging my groceries.   4.  If you persist in posting claptrap that I disagree with, I’m not the friend you thought I was when we agreed to this relationship and you and your posts are OUT!

5.  The preceding goes double the other way.  If you think I’m just a Left-Wing-Intellectual: 1. You’re close-I’m more centrist than anything and I do have an enviable vocabulary. 2. You weren’t paying attention when we knew each other back in the day-just because I may have been a hard-ass in the past doesn’t mean I was an uncaring or compassionless person, you just needed to get it in gear or get out of my LZ.  Anyhoo, if you don’t like the snake oil I’m peddlin’, feel free to give me my cyber walkin’ papers.  It ain’t a marriage or business partnership, it’s a website.  I was lookin’ for someone when I found you and I’m still lookin’.

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One Response to Friend as a Verb. (Guest Article)

  1. Lynn Eschbach says:

    When I first got involved with FaceBook (I’m not anymore) this person asked if I’d be their friend and excitedly I agreed. Then I discovered this person had over 2,000 friends and I wasn’t so excited anymore. I guess the definition of friend in general has changed.

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